A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
