I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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