If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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