I cockslap morals
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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