I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
