EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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