I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
