I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
