found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Randomize
