Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
