I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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