well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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