i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
