I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm too high and old for this...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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