Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Shame - the story of my life.
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