I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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