and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
