her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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