Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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