so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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