she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
