Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
