foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
