At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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