She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
