And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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