I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
