chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
