She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
