i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
