you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
