A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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