and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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