what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
