alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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