oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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