You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
