Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
