Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
