My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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