So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
