I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
