I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
