We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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