I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
