I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
