I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
