shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
