Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
