Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
