plz talk dirty to me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
