why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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